ODB's Greatness And A Shifted Perspective Of Suicide

It was a recurring gag on the Hypebeast Forum as the aspiring trolls of the shoutbox joked of my resemblance to Ol Dirty Bastard. In my eyes I looked like nobody but myself, but people loved to point out who I looked like to them. John Wall, that nigga from Black Ink, "Brandon," or ODB. Safe to say I hated being compared to others I knew I looked nothing like. It came to the point where a waitress in a Japanese cafe told me I looked like Tupac, which I felt was blasphemy. Nevertheless it put me in a position to subconsciously ignore those who made the comparisons and the souls' vessels I was compared to.

As artists, we need those streams of consciousness that breed new perspectives, to inspire us into creating our best work, while staying connected to the collective conscious.

With hip hop in the firm grip of psuedo-Jewish record execs and their pathetic and sycophantic lackeys, my interests in the current scene has waned. Although it doesn't put a damper on my own musical endeavors, the lack of creativity in this current era in hip hop is simply uninspiring. As artists, we need those streams of consciousness that breed new perspectives, to inspire us into creating our best work while staying connected to the collective conscious. Sadly the meat of this generation is only motivated by monetary gain and attention, so I find my inspirations in the studios of the past rather than the present or future. I started going back to places I've been where I may have missed something. It brought me back to the mystics of Wu - Tang. I was just on a good bender of Wu Tang for the past month. It's actually very refreshing to go against the grain of your peers. Those who want to stay trendy just chew and shit out music like Chipotle, but when I go back I really dive deep ( my moon is in Scorpio anyway LOL). I'll listen to tracks over and over; hearing the cadence, volumes and flows over the loops, dissecting what makes the song so fway to me. So I was on Wu Tang Forever for a while, completely loving the way the album starts like the Yankees in the World Series.

Wu -Tang always had my love. I mean I was born in '92 but I still remember all the smashes they had on radio. It's weird though, because what I realized is how much I loved ODB. Like the other indoctrinated children of the 85%, I allowed the mainstream media to mold my head into thinking Dirty was crazy. Never to be taken seriously, only to be laughed with and laughed at. We '90s Babies remember ODB's welfare limo ride and crashing the Grammy stage. It was the rawest and most fun form of entertainment you could see in those times. While we all laughed and gazed in awe, we really were missing the deeper message. ODB's piece on MTV was a segue into the deeper topic of welfare reform and what it really meant to be living on government assistance. It brought up a debate that was years ago swept aside and brought the hood back onto the desk of the president, at the time, Bill Clinton.

When one just takes it all in, you can see how great of a cultural impact Wu-Tang really was. To me, their combination of style, substance and cultural awareness made them the true Kings of New York. And ODB's kingly character was always greatly overlooked from the mainstream perspective. My recent Youtube binges have consisted of VladTV interviews and Wu tracks I overlooked or never heard before. It was this interview that really ignited something inside me to dig deeper into ODB and who he really was. It turned into me looking for every Ol Dirty Bastard interview I could find. Admittedly, I was still expecting a foolhardy exchange between Dirty and the interviewers, but it never came. What was shockingly found were conversations with a sheer genius .

Digging Deeper into the rabbit hole brought me closer the treasures of truth. Many from the Golden Age were either apathetic or fearful of divluging their true feelings, but ODB could never form such a block. You always gotta respect a man who says what he feels when he feels he needs to, and in many of Dirty's interviews, I felt that. ODB went on nationally syndicated TRL and hinted the government may have played a hand in the death of Biggie and Tupac. He spoke about the future of music and how the elites were using music controlling our minds. Dirty had such a knowledge of self that he spoke about the esoteric with no trepidation, divulging into his past lives and the challenges he mastered in them. Dirty was so aware and hisself and his soul path, he gave hint that he was nearing his death and his time was coming soon to an end, because it was time for a someone to take his place. Maybe it was all written into the Akashic records, but these esoteric revealings would've sure escaped me had I not experienced my own spiritual awakening.

There was truly no father to Ason Unique's style. His music was so left field it thrusted you into your own discomfort and forced you to question why you had it to begin with. My personal belief is Ason was a savant awakened. The only person I've listened to who could take Rick James' song and cover it on his album in his own way or rap a verse two times in one album and it still comes out fway. At times he wouldn't even rhyme and others were so elusive you had to catch it. What was most amazing to me was Ason's ability to control the ODB character. Watch him in this freestyle:

He immediately jumps into his patented warbles, while drunk, and out so smoothly like there wasn't an ounce of liquor in him. It was like he was just Clark Kent and took the disguise off so quick, saved the world, and put it back on before you even noticed his glasses. It's one thing to have an alter ego, but it is another to have complete domain over it. Having such a mastery is such a difficult feat few can really accomplish.

As we all know, Russel Jones passed away on November 14, 2004 due to an overdosed cocktail of cocaine and pain killers. Yung Dirty Bastard explained the lead-up in the video I linked earlier. He explains how he go the highest he ever got and you can even hear how he said it himself that it was "time" Gathering so much from all of these interviews creates a clear perspective that really trumps surface understanding. Why would he overdose in front of his own son? Only Ason knows. That question lingered in my Pre-REM the night I absorbed all this knowledge. The more I thought of it, more reasons floated to the surface. It could have been to prepare his son. At this stage of understanding, it became a reality to me it was more of a passing over of the purest spiritual form between Sun and Man.

ODB died on his own terms. As someone who questioned the answer of suicide in my own life, it didn't really dawn on me ODB committed suicide. But to me, he did, and it was because the Universe permitted. If you look at his life, ODB was gifted with many prosperities, be it children, family, and material wealth. He was a man who helped save a child from a burning car. When he spoke of his mastering hislafe challenges, I believed him. Not only because he was the only person I ever heard to say this in an interview, but because of the life he lived. It became obvious to me the life of Russell Jones was the reward to Ason Unique for lives of struggle that could have been hundreds or thousands of years apart.

Why I call it a suicide is because I've grown tired of the indoctrinated stigma associated with suicide. I'm tired of people thinking suicide is 'bad' or 'selfish,' and I'm tired of people not being allowed to having control of their lives to the point where they are afraid. to end it when they know in their hearts, their time is coming. Ultimately life is just an upgraded version of GTA V. It's not that we can't or shouldn't turn it off but when. The Universe gives each of us missions to accomplish and it is only then life is in our hands. In the case of ODB/Ason Unique/ Russell Jones/ Big Baby Jesus, his mission was long ago completed and he was on vacation.